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azvolrien · 4 years ago

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An Incomplete Timeline of Stranatir

OK, despite the tag this is more of a reference document than a story; I mentioned once that I have a timeline drawn up to help keep when all my stories happen straight in my head. I update it periodically when I have new stuff to add, but this is what I have sorted out so far.

AI = ‘Anno imperii’, ‘in the Year of the Empire’ (I hope). Previous years are ‘BE’, ‘Before the Empire’, as ‘ante imperium’ would lead to confusion.

AI 1 Raan the Conqueror, chieftain of the Bear Tribe of Raan’s Fort (‘Ki-Raan’), finishes his campaign to unite the scattered Kargvallen (the ‘Jagged Lands’, an old name for the Kiraani Hills) tribes into a single nation; traditionally considered the founding of the Kiraani Empire. Things kind of escalate from there.

1409 Schism of the Balaurin; the expansionist ‘Sky Kings’ led by Voice of the Mountain travel from the Dragon’s Teeth to the Eastern Highlands and enslave the orcs. I guess they thought it would be easier than trying to conquer the Kiraani, as the orcs had yet to invent ballistae.

1420 Approximate beginning of the Raiding Period – an era in Sea Loch history characterised by warfare and raiding between the people of the different lochs, each under the leadership of a different local monarch. Vikings, basically. Kiraan glances in their direction and decides to let things settle down over there before attempting anything.

1740 Traditionally considered the end of the Raiding Period, with the unification of the Sea Lochs under High King Fergus. Local monarchs keep their titles but swear fealty to the High King.

2109 The Sea Loch Country and the Hawk Steppes are annexed into the Kiraani Empire; the Emperor adds ‘High King’ and ‘Great Khan’ to his list of titles. The nation of Stormhaven is founded when a slave ship runs aground on the coast and Queen Eleri the First (just Eleri at that point) masterminds the escape. On the other side of the continent, Ikara the Black leads the orcs (who have now invented ballistae, and have also worked out a few useful things about ‘blast pulp’) in the Last Revolt against the Sky Kings; Voice of the Mountain and all other dragons in the Eastern Highlands (save one) are slain. Some of the Sky Kings successfully escape the mountains and join communities in the lowlands to the west, but most are killed with the dragons.

2214 The Devourer appears at Eyrie Spire and begins consuming magic for miles around. To date no one is completely sure what it really was (not even me!). Almost all dragons die in the event, leaving only a handful of survivors and unhatched eggs; Balaurin civilisation collapses without them. Most human survivors quietly integrate into the Mammoth People on the ice fields to the north or Kiraan south of the mountains and a few remain in the mountains with most of the surviving dragons, but some become more belligerent. The Balaurin mage Morath (known to Stormhaven as the Harbinger) and her dragon Dark Shadow over the Frozen Land (‘Shadow’) come to Stormhaven in warning and are slain in battle against an invading Balaurin faction.

2696 Crown Prince Zarannon of Kiraan (‘Zar’, and believe it or not that was not an intentional pun on ‘Tsar’) is born to Emperor Kaial III and Imperial Consort Aysel Darehyin Yaigani.

2702 Lorna, an eighteen-year-old girl of the Sea People, becomes disillusioned with the violent culture of her remote island birthplace and steals a boat to defect to the mainland. She is caught in a storm on the way and washes up on a beach in the Sea Loch Country, where she is taken in by Bruide MacDovran, his wife Morag, and their son Euan (also eighteen). Although she’s unofficially adopted into the family, her relationship with Euan is very much not that of brother and sister.

2710 26th Voynithi/March – Roan is born to Lorna and Euan, and orphaned by raiders a couple of months later; she is then raised by her widowed grandfather Bruide, who cannot bear to keep using NicEuan as her patronymic and changes it to NicBruide, the name she will bear for the rest of her life.

2711 15th of Sirakithi/January – Fayn reyth Aren is born. The village priest views her albinism as a terrible omen and insists that they leave her in the forest to die. Her parents Aren and Kayun can’t completely overrule him, but manage to talk him down to allowing her to live just outside the village boundaries in the care of her eldest sister Una. Una does a pretty good job, all things considered, and is probably the biggest reason Fayn had both the skills to survive alone and the ability to eventually return to civilisation.

8th of Rivedi/July – Asta zeDamar is born. There’s not really anything more interesting to say about that part of her life; she has a fairly happy and nondescript middle-class upbringing up until the point everything goes horribly wrong for her.

16th of Messis/September – Wygar Smith is born, and left at a Stormhaven orphanage by his biological parents Wyatt and Irwen (no surname) two days later. Nicholas and Mari Smith adopt him after a month in the orphanage; he doesn’t remember it, but once he’s financially capable of it he makes regular donations to the orphanage.

2716 Nirali is born. (cradle name: ‘Blue Eyes’) Unlike Fayn’s experience, her albinism is noted as unusual and her parents are advised to be careful with sun exposure, but it otherwise has no effect on her upbringing. Her eccentricities are entirely her own.

2717 Emperor Kaial orders the genocide of the Falkari people out of paranoia; only Fayn survives. Zar, horrified, cuts all ties to his father not strictly related to his duties as Crown Prince and immediately starts planning what he’ll do to try and atone for it once he takes the throne. Stormhaven declares war shortly after the massacre.

2719 The Darkwald War ends with the signing of Treaty of Harbinger Pass; nobody can really be said to have conclusively won or lost but hostilities between Stormhaven and the Empire are officially over. Unofficially, Stormhaven is not totally convinced, so the Harbinger Gate is constructed to block the pass. The Darkwald as far south as the Stone River is designated an official buffer zone between Stormhaven and the Empire. People can still pass through from one to the other but the only activity allowed within the zone is services for travellers on the Great Darkwald Road, such as roadside campsites and the village of Halfway.

2723 Wygar begins his apprenticeship at the Stormhaven College of Sorcery alongside Calburn, Rhona and the rest of their yearmates.

2726 Karash is born. (cradle name: ‘Honey’)

2731 Roan graduates from the University of Duncraig following the death of her grandfather earlier in the year and begins working in a bank.

2732 Asta graduates from the Imperial University of Kiraan. Her parents are killed in an accident; she sells herself into slavery to cover their considerable debts (in Nivalis/December) and is purchased by Lady Fiona MacArra as a secretary. Fiona initially offers her freedom but Asta declines on the grounds that she would just be out on the street. Instead she agrees to stay with Fiona for five years or until Fiona’s death, whichever comes soonest. Roan decides she hates working in a bank, resigns, and moves to Dun Ardech to live, as Asta put it, as a semi-feral sea witch. Nirali begins training as a Memory-Singer.

2736 Voynithi: Wygar and his yearmates leave the College for the traditional journeying year.

2737 Events of The Last Shapeshifter and most of Water Horses.

Voynithi: Wygar returns from his journeying year and meets Fayn in the Darkwald, where she’s been living a mostly feral existence since the Falkari genocide. She accompanies him back to Stormhaven and adjusts surprisingly well.

Gracilis/November: Wygar and Fayn marry. They acknowledge that this is pretty soon but it works for them. Death of Lady Fiona MacArra.

Nivalis: Asta’s manumission in Fiona’s will is overruled and her ownership passes to Lord Darius ‘Daro’ MacArra, Fiona’s grandson, who has had his eye on her since she first came to Duncraig. Asta escapes from Castle MacArra (not unscathed) and flees to Dun Ardech, where she meets Roan.

2738 Sirakithi: Daro kidnaps Asta from Dun Ardech with the help of his guards and a hired crew; Roan kills him and rescues her. Asta travels to Stormhaven aboard the merchant ship Curlew at Roan’s insistence and finds work in the College’s admin office.

Nivalis: Wygar and Fayn travel to the Northern Forest at Zar’s request to investigate a spate of mysterious disappearances there. Events of The Northern Forest.

2739 Nivalis: Death (from old age) of Emperor Kaial; Zar ascends the Imperial throne to become Emperor Zarannon IV, with his coronation held on the winter solstice. Wygar and Fayn attend with the Stormhaven delegation. Events of To Kiraan. Aysel leaves the Imperial City and returns home to the Hawk Steppes.

2740 Sirakithi: Under Zar’s new Protection of Slaves Act, Clan MacArra are arrested and imprisoned for their horrific abuse of their slaves. Now that it’s safe for her to do so, Asta returns to Dun Ardech to live with Roan. Specifically on the 7th.

12th of Rivedi: Una Falkari Smith is born. Calburn and Rhona travel to the Hawk Steppes and travel with a band of Yaigan nomads for a while. Events of The Hawk Steppes.

Gracilis: Wygar and Fayn travel to the Darkwald for Una’s naming ceremony.

2742 Ikara is born. (Cradle name: ‘Little Red’) Karash begins training as a Memory-Singer.

2744 Torsani/June: Karash and Ikara are orphaned in the Fever Summer. Karash takes on parental duties for his infant half-sister; juggling his training with raising her is difficult, but he manages.

Nivalis: Asta and Roan marry.

2746 Wygar reconnects with his biological family, somewhat by accident. He never really comes to think of Wyatt and Irwen as his parents, but he remains on cordial terms with them and Una does consider them her grandparents.

2748 Wygar, Calburn and Rhona go missing on the far western continent and are presumed dead. Events of Centaurs of Varakai.

2749 Wygar, Calburn and Rhona make it home to Stormhaven, accompanied by the Red Sun centaur herd. The Red Suns go to live on the Hawk Steppes, where the landscape suits them a bit better. The Steppe tribes are surprised but generally roll with it.

2750 Events of The Lady of Kaltara. Wygar, Fayn and Una go on holiday to Stonehead. Fayn is kidnapped by Mara Kovar, the Lady of Kaltara, and Wygar and Una travel to rescue her.

2752 Una begins her own apprenticeship at the College.

2754 Nivalis: Roan goes missing fishing in a winter storm. Riabhach rescues her from the water and gets her safely to the island of Starwatch. Una and some other apprentices visit the Order of Night on the island and are caught up in a raid by a band of Sea People led by the warrior Svanna, the daughter of Lorna’s sister and so Roan’s first cousin unbeknownst to either of them. Events of The Island of Stars.

2756 High Master Idris Carwel retires; Wygar is promoted to take his place as head of the School of Combat. Nobody is really surprised by this.

2758 Ikara begins training as an Initiate Windkindred.

2764 Ikara bonds with the rukh Tsheer and ascends to full Windsister.

2765 Una leaves on her journeying year. She meets Bright Star in the High Cold Dark (‘Star’) in the Dragon’s Teeth, accidentally forms a permanent blood-bond with the young dragon, and is adopted by the surviving Balaurin. The Sea People invade Stormhaven in force under King Torann, but are defeated (read: their fleet is practically obliterated) by the Balaurin dragons.

2767 Events of Anchored Tempest. The Balaurin relocate from Journey’s End to Ornfell, close enough to the Sea Loch Country for much easier trade. Una and Star travel to the Eastern Highlands and encounter the orcs. Halted Flow of the River of Time (‘River’), the last survivor of the Sky Kings’ faction, is discovered guarding a cache of five hundred viable dragon eggs held in stasis. River is killed; the Balaurin transport the eggs to Ornfell for incubation.

2768 Interim between Anchored Tempest and its epilogue. Karash, Ikara and Nirali accompany Una on her journey back across the continent from the Eastern Highlands to Stormhaven, acting as something between explorers and unofficial ambassadors between the orcs and the wider world. They have a few hurdles along the way, but overall it goes well. I haven’t decided anything more specific yet.

#az writes stories #and supplementary material to them

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alexeiadrae · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on Evil

I finished watching Evil. For reference, I am an atheist and was raised in a secular household and I am a skeptic who loves folklore and scary stories and who also loves debunking paranormal claims. My husband is Catholic and believes in demonic possession and the end of days stuff, and somehow we work, just like Kristen and David somehow work. I am also a counselor so I am familiar with the mental health aspects that Kristen deals with, and since she was the skeptic and the atheist related to her on those levels, as well as balancing motherhood with a professional career even though I have a private practice and do not testify in court, and my husband is not an adventurer in any sense of the word and has been in the trenches with me for years.

That said, I wasn’t sure if I would finish it. One thing I have noticed about atheists who were raised in secular homes is that we tend to not find the demonic possession end of day stuff scary, and if anything we find it overacted to the point of ludicrousness if it isn’t boring as hell (can’t speak for all of us, but the overwhelming majority that I have talked to about it feel that way). My parents were both raised Methodist and found The Exorcist scary even though they had been atheists for years, so I think if you are raised Christian it is still scary even if you leave the faith, but if you are never raised to believe in it then it’s silly. Both my sister and I found it silly, even though other people our age who were Christian thought it was terrifying. And it extends to other movies and shows that feature demon possession and end of day stuff. While I love horror, it’s not a subset of horror that works for me.

So I don’t know if people raised in other belief systems like Islam or Buddhism find it scary (but would be interested in finding out!), but lifelong atheists tend not to. So for those reasons I wasn’t sure if I would finish it, and for the first few episodes I still wasn’t sure because, bluntly, the demon possession stuff just has me rolling my eyes with how over the top it is if I wasn’t laughing at how preposterous it was. So those elements definitely dragged it down for me. Yet there were elements that I really appreciated, and it did have one episode that terrified and disturbed me. So I finished it. Do I want to watch the second season? Not sure. Spoilery thoughts below.

-I did appreciate how at the beginning it illustrated how someone like Kristen would have a massive amounts of student loan debt and would be working her ass off to pay it. They sort of drifted from this. But at the beginning there was the sense of how it is hard juggling career and kids and paying the bills.

-While I did like some of the psychological aspects, there was some stuff that fell victim to me knowing the ins and outs of Kristen’s profession. Most counselors and psychologists, or the good ones at least, do see a therapist of their own to work on their own issues, get what they need to off their chest and ensure that they are in a good emotional state to practice, so I am glad that they showed Kristen going to therapy and working on her issues. That said, if someone stole a therapist’s client files, that would be a BFD, for both the practitioner and the thief. A practitioner could lose their license if they were shown to be negligent in handling the files. They could have also filed a lawsuit against Leland for stealing the files. And if I was a practitioner, I would want to know how the files were stolen.

-Which is one of the weak points of the show. Why did Kristen feel like she had to take on Leland and LeRoux on her own? She hardly exhausted her options. She didn’t even tell her mother that Leland had threatened to kill her daughters, much less document the threat and work to get a restraining order against him (yes, I know, those don’t always work well but they give her a legal recourse). Ditto with LeRoux. One of my specialties is domestic violence and harassment so I am very familiar with the steps you would take to document all of that and get help before abandoning the idea, but Kristen didn’t try any of those. And while domestic violence and the like doesn’t appear to be her specialty it pops up frequently enough that it would be alarming if she didn’t know that. It took away a bit from me. Also, if someone had threatened my children, I would tell my children. Yes, I get you wouldn’t want your kids to be anxious, but in a case like that they would need to know. I would tell my husband. I would tell the police. In fact, as a mandatory reporter, Kristen would be legally obligated to call the police if someone made threats on someone else’s life, especially a child’s life. It blew my mind that she just kept it to herself. Especially as Leland did it in a public courthouse surrounded by people. I would find someone to corroborate.

Now a problem in these cases is someone making threats to harm or kill someone, being reported, and then denying it to the police and leaving them unable to do much. They could have written that in, but they didn’t, and it did not reflect well on Kristen IMO.

-Another counselor nitpick, a good counselor/psychologist would not start out by challenging a client’s beliefs but take time exploring them and mapping out how they think. This is two fold, helping the client to trust the counselor and feel validated by them while it helps the psychologist understand how they see the world and build a map of their thoughts process and belief system and give them clues to how to utilize it to help them get better. Basically if someone came into my office and said they were possessed by a demon I would go with it even though I don’t believe them because understanding how they think is more important than challenging everything right off the bat.

-There were a few episodes that were very effective. The Halloween episode with the masked girl was chilling. The episode that really did it for me was when David was in the hospital and subjected to the whims of a sadistic, racist nurse. And what is interesting is what made is so chilling is that none of it was supernatural. But that thought of being held captive, drugged to the point of being unable to advocate for yourself and ask for help and at the mercy of someone who wants to hurt you was terrifying (and not to mention hard to watch). I also have a history of sleep paralysis, and the thing that would terrify me most when I was paralyzed was the thought that someone was in the room or outside my home wanting to hurt me and I couldn’t defend myself or even call 911. So David being medically paralyzed captured that feeling. I also hate IVs, absolutely hate them and have this fear that they will tear my veins out, so there were several scenes I could not watch. Finally, this happens. There have been nurses who have tormented and killed patients and they got away with it for years because they were able to cover it up. And my husband, who is mixed Pacific Islander, Asian and European but appears a racially ambiguous brown, is nervous about hospitals for that same reasons and because of mistreatment his father received when he was treated for lung cancer (they broke a mercury thermometer in his lungs) that likely contributed to his death. So that episode chilled me to the core for a number of reasons.

-That said, Kristen’s sleep paralysis stuff was not an accurate depiction of how it works at all. You can’t even talk when you have sleep paralysis. I was usually laughing at the scenes with George. George. I mean, how the fuck can you take a demon named George seriously? I laughed my head off when he said his name was George and wondered if I was suddenly watching a comedy. If I had sleep paralysis and a demon came in and said his name was George I would laugh myself out of it.

-The episode with the boy who tried to drown his baby sister in the pool brought back memories of working in a children’s mental hospital. I saw something similar with a kid who was even younger. And that kid suffered abuse so horrific that it gave me and one of the other therapists working with them nightmares, and with the knowledge that we don’t have good treatment options for someone who exhibits the symptoms that kid did it was a horrible case. If I wake up one morning and see on the news that they were arrested for a string of murders or killing their kids I will not be surprised. You don’t need possession to explain this stuff. The truth, that someone would be so sadistically abusive to their own child, and that despite all of the red flags that this child’s parents were allowed to raise and abuse them for as long as they did and to the extent that they did, is far more terrifying. I guess that’s another reason I don’t like the demonic possession stuff. It gives abusers a way out.

-So there were things I liked about it, and there were things I hated about it. I think I’ll see what the plot synopsis and reviews of the second season are like before committing.

#evil #cbs evil #netflix evil #kristen bouchard #david acosta #a counselor watches evil

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kiss-my-freckle · 4 years ago

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8x7 Rewatch: Chemical Mary

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

A nice reference to Robert Frost.

Red: The road not taken. Dembe: Beauty school? Red: Yes. That young woman's great passion that her single father just can't understand. It pushes them apart. But instead of insisting that she understand him, he enrolls in beauty school as well and learns to better understand her. Dembe: I think you understand Elizabeth. Probably more than you want to. Red: Well, I'm not her father. Maybe if I were, I'd want to understand her even better. Perhaps she wouldn't be so determined to kill me.

Dembe is right, Red understands Liz better than he wants, but they also have their differences. This conversation hits back to Red's conversation with Liz in S6.

Red: I was a difficult child. People saw me one way I saw myself another. I felt misunderstood - acted out. My father fancied himself a disciplinarian. Very moralistic. Instead of trying to understand me, he excommunicated me. Liz: And your mother? Red: My mother - My - My mother - My mother understood. My mother understood the problems of the human heart in conflict with itself. So she understood everything. I've taught you to think like a criminal. I should've taught you to think like her. I - I should've learned to think like her.

Liz will learn to understand Red. She's halfway there, she simply isn't wearing Tom's face as Katarina is wearing Raymond's. Perhaps through Agnes, she will.

Mary: Pig, hog, runt... sow... boar. My brother's mantra. When he was a boy, he collected glass pigs. He knew everything there was to know about them.

Hog futures and a pig-masked rapist in S7. Lipstick on a pig in S6.

Glass pigs. Reminds me of Josephine with her glass figurines. They include Rogelio, who was first introduced in Alistair Pitt's episode.

The Woman: "Once upon a time, there lived a little country girl, the prettiest creature who was ever seen.”

Red: You destroyed a creature more beautiful han you could ever comprehend.

Red: I fear she may do something that she can never recover from. And of all the tragedies that you and I have experienced together, that would be the most tragic. We have to do - do everything in our power to prevent that from happening.

But I also tthink Red and Alina’s storyline is just as much for the sake of Red understanding Liz, so I think we’ll be seeing Red and Alina sharing more scenes, which I’m very happy about. I love them. I think she’ll be recovering the thumb drive from Cooper for Red next week, but Rakitin will continue playing out as I believe they’ll identify him before she gets her hands on it.

Cooper still refuses to believe Liz assisted The Freelancer's release from prison, so he finds it even harder to believe Liz is working with Chemical Mary. Ressler and Aram share in his disbelief while Alina believes it's possible because she has fresh eyes. She's not as close to Liz as they are. Cooper is then given proof that Liz assisted in The Freelancer's release.

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." Henry IV, Part 2 is a history play by William Shakespeare. Red and his Shakespeare references lately. Parisian references... the Temple of Love (Temple de l'Amour) and the Canal Saint-Martin.

Aram: She goes by the name of Rakitin. And when I say, uh - "she," I don't mean she's a woman. I mean, she could be. Or a man. I'm... I'm trying to alternative pronouns instead of defaulting to the generic "he" to represent a man or a woman. Rakitin could be a he or a she. Or a they. Cooper: This is good. We know who the hacker is, but we still need to find out what he... or she... hacked.

A Rederina conversation between Aram and Cooper. Nouns and pronouns, as I continue to point out because a “ripe apple” doesn’t speak to gender, and Red told Kirk Liz is his daughter. That’s why I’m glad he confirmed he’s not her father. Fans should definitely lay that theory to rest.

Aram: Now, these photos were taken within a few days of the incident. But these... were taken a year later. Alina: No wonder we couldn't find her.

Liz: He'd need doctors, like Koehler - someone who could change his face. Dom: And not just once many visits over the course of a year.

They then parallel Chemical Mary with Rederina. Take this shot of Red reading a womens magazine.

Congressman: But I think he's been here a long time. Long enough, he's become one of us. And he's using us.

Connolly: What if the reason he chose her in the first place is because he wanted to get his hands on this thing? What if that's the real reason he turned himself in?

Congressman: Based on what I know of Rakitin, he and N-13 pose an imminent threat to national security.

Red: Within 12 hours, inmate Luther Todd Braxton will break out of his cell. When he does, he will steal a classified intelligence packet that contains secrets vital to your National Security.

Much like Tom Connolly, I believe the congressman is dirty, and he’ll be the one to push Cooper for Senator just as Connolly had plans to push him up the ladder in S2. He’s basically selling Cooper the idea that N-13 (Red) is using them just as Connolly tried selling the idea that Red was using Liz for the Fulcrum. I don’t think Cooper believes that, but I do think he should’ve quashed his curiousity with the thumb drive. I think this thumb drive will get shut down quickly because Alina will recover it. Her recovery will force Cooper to take Rakitin into custody to question him. Cooper’s decision to arrest Rakitin will then force Red to extract him. With the thumb drive in Red’s hands, and the need to extract Rakitin being their final loose end, Rakitin will either die before he talks or his extraction will be successful. That’s where I stand right now in how this plays out.

Rakitin and Neville are running separate for a reason. Liz plans to out Red, and believes his thumb drive identifies N-13, so she handed it to Cooper. I do believe this to be the case because the congressman asked Cooper about it during their meeting. “Why do you say that? Did anything on the drive identify N-13?" Sikorsky told Red that Cooper isn't off limits like Liz is, and I think that has to do with Cooper himself identifying N-13 should he open it. Sikorsky doesn't want anyone identifying N-13. “A fact no one knows is true. We must do whatever we can to keep it that way." Again, this was something Dom mentioned in 5x13. No one is to know the truth of what happened to Katarina Rostova aka N-13. So Liz hands Cooper the thumb drive to get the proof she needs while she works her way through these blacklisters in order to get to Neville Townsend. I think that’s why they’re not showing Liz’s side of the story yet. I think the thumb drive will stop at Rakitin, but whatever Liz is doing... I believe her side will pick up with Neville when his men abduct her. I’m just not sure if they’ll actually abduct Liz or if they’ll abduct a double of Liz because I see they have another doppelganger blacklister coming, and I do believe Red could put one in place to protect her.

Chemical Mary's facial burns and Cooper running Red's fingerprint instead of his DNA... I'm leaving my Minister D playout on the table. I still think Ressler could be the one to figure out who Red is, and I think Red will end up threatening him with fire. They could even use this as a way to pull Liz back into the post office. EIther way, I think Ressler may get an inkling after seeing Mary’s facial burns.

One Parisian woman for another. Maddie Tolliver. Madeline Toussaint. Ressler has enough in his storylines to hand it to him. Alongside Ressler, Aram has enough in his storylines to find Liz's second memory wipe. Throw Aram’s conversation with Cooper about pronouns into a conversation wtih Ressler, and Ressler will be looking at Red’s medical file. They basically have to stick Aram and Ressler together when the time is right. Enough time and reason to have a gender-jumping conversation.

Mary: Open this door right now! I want to see her! Where is she?! The woman! I want to talk to her! Do you hear me?! Ugh! Open this door right now! I want to see her!

Again, nouns and pronouns. The woman from Paris is now the woman who abducted Mary. SHE and HER is not specific. That’s how they ran imposter Katarina in S7.

They're pushing "miracle" dialogues like it's nobody's business. They tie in their Diviner soundtrack. Everything they’re doing now is fated. It goes back to Red’s “knock on wood” in Roy Cain’s episode.

8x7 & 6x22

Sikorsky: I am told Rakitin is in play.

Dembe: The Townsend Directive. Our friend in Miami says it's in play.

I believe they’re pushing Red’s fingerprint back to Tom’s fingerprint - specifically on Diane Fowler’s record brush, running opposite the DNA CODIS search. By the time they’re done, I believe both sides will collide and head into Liz’s second memory wipe as they reveal two imposters - Tom and the woman from Paris.

#Rederina

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago

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August 20: 1x11 The Menagerie Part 1

Hello time for Spock’s Mutiny Part One

That is a LOT of 50s looking sci fi background to hit with me all at once.

Spock with his carefully neutral face like ‘hmmm? a distress signal that did not come from here? how COULD that be?’

Kirk and Spock tilt their heads at the exact same time lol.

“Subspace chatter.” Please, Commodore, call it what it is, “gossip.”

“We met when he was promoted to Fleet Captain.” Okay so he was promoted, but to a weird rank that literally only exists for like two people in Star Trek I guess. (I had to look it up because I don’t know what a Fleet Captain is lol.)

I don’t understand how Pike could be the same age as Jim and yet hold the Captain’s position for 11+ years before Jim was promoted like??? Did he become a Captain faster than AOS!Kirk? Also, he looked like he was Jim’s age now in those tapes from 13 years ago. He cannot possibly be in his mid-30s now, or he’d be in his early 20s on the Talos tapes, and also, younger than Spock. So either I misheard or...it’s wrong. I guess it was supposed to mean that he was, at the time Spock served with him, the same age Jim is now?? But it shows up in a weird place to be making that point.

Oh, Spock’s mentor. The emotion.

And so begins Spock’s amazing cavalcade of lies, lies, and more lies. Doesn’t even look like it’s hard. He’d basically do anything for his replacement father.

Pike must be the only other person Spock has ever served under.

I love it when they argue about records and log books. Like, this sort of bureaucratic dueling makes up a lot more of the TOS plot than people think. The record logs must have been changed because Spock never lies!

Love that Kirk and Mendez are fighting and Mendez just yells “Well you’re right!” and that’s the end of the argument.

Is this the same Jose who wanted his peppers in another episode?

Spock is so supremely sneaky here. Mission Impossible theme plays as he skulks around and messes with the computers.

Okay, that little flirting thing with Miss Piper and the mention of “Helen” and Kirk looking briefly worried about what Helen might have said about him--that does make him look a little slutty. So he loves love okay guys!!!

That scenery out the window omg 1954 called it wants its illustrations back.

All these dumbasses on the bridge and only Uhura is suspicious.

Spock is so exasperated. All these questions! Good thing he has a fake recording of the Captain telling them all to just listen to Spock. He really thought of everything.

Kirk is looking very handsome and thoughtful. (My mom: finally a man who can think and still look fine.) He’s so distressed at the idea of Spock doing something bad.

This Bones and Kirk scene. I’m so distracted by their insistence that Vulcans can’t lie. I mean have you considered that when they told you they can’t lie.... they were lying??? Also lol @ the idea of Spock’s human side being “completely submerged.” That’s another lie he’s telling you Bones!

Love Bones defending Spock though. “He would never make a false entry! This is the LOGS were talking about here!” He adores Spock too.

That’s a cool little secret book they got there.

Kirk’s face when the Enterprise leaves without him!

Self-driving Enterprise.

I love how everyone is just unaware of the mutiny lol. Just cackling at Spock’s blatant and constant lies. “I’ve placed myself in command of the Enterprise.” Sitting in The Chair.

I’m sorry but I’m laughing so hard at all of this. He made sure to lure Bones back onto the ship with the vaguest of messages just so he could be like “Look, friend, I have a secret... I stole a Captain!”

Lol Jim following in the shuttlecraft. Can’t get rid of him that easily! Also I love the shuttle design. Adorable.

Oh no, Jim’s in danger! You can tell from Spock’s face that this was a crimp in his plan that he did not entirely expect. (I do think he figured he’d be court-martialed eventually but this specifically, Jim not turning back when he ran out of fuel, I think did throw him.)

Jim, caring more about Spock than about himself.

Bones like “hmmm who could it POSSIBLY be in the shuttle?”

“I never received orders to take command. Just went ahead and did it.”

Well this is an awkward situation!

Bones: “Well, confine him!”

Uhura’s reaction lol. Always a cutie.

Dammit I’m a doctor, not an arresting officer.

Scotty muttering (possibly his only line in this ep)

Spock’s weird statue. Lurking in the background while Spock somehow spies on the transporter room from his room? With a camera that can zoom in and out for dramatic effect?

So Spock thought it was possible Jim would follow him, so he made his mutiny impossible to undo.

Weird how they yet again call Spock a lieutenant commander when his rank stripes have always indicated he’s a commander.

I love when they discuss regulations. These nerds! They locate so much drama in it and the JD in me is having a damn good time.

I feel like this is the closest Jim and Spock have ever come to fighting. DENIED!

Oooh fancy dress time.

I feel like Spock is having a good time here lol. He lives for the drama.

He’d make a good lawyer. Kirk would too.”Commodore, you’ve opened the door” takes me back to Evidence.

And now, 13 years ago...

Jim, you’re ruining the DRAMA with your interruptions!

“Could you be biased because he’s your personal friend? Your special friend? Your best buddy Spock?”

This pilot looks like it was made 10 years before The Corbomite Maneuver or even Where No Man.

Young Spock wants to go exploring on the new planet! Kirk 100% would have gone, like, no question.

What kind of random ass outfits were those? Tennis Sunday on the Enterprise?

Look at that close up shot of the communicator. My flip phone c. 2032.

Gotta flop on the bed in the most photogenic way possible. Google Earth, always taking pictures.

This doctor is so obviously proto-Bones. And Pike IS Kirk but whinier and without that Shatner charm.

Swords and armor and deserted fortresses?? What?

This whole ep just reads as SUCH a rough first draft.

Knowing what we know about Spock, I almost doubt there was a distress message lol.

Time warp factor 7.

Court of space law.

Literally can’t believe they watched a 10 minute clip of Pike whining as part of this actual legal proceeding.

Kirk’s probably very curious to see more of Spock in his 20s.

Spock’s eyeshadow at the trial is super on point.

I can’t believe Pike has literal papers lol. Like papers made out of paper. They have printers in deep space?

Their little away team jackets, so cute.

More 50s sci fi backgrounds! I feel like people who think TOS is dated or ages badly need to watch this and, to a lesser extent, Where No Man. I think it shows just how much TOS did its own thing bc those pilots really took from the recent sci fi landscape, whereas TOS created its own thing. I think that’s why TNG looks more dated to me--it seems of a piece with other 90s media, whereas, aside from stuff like the hairstyles or the miniskirts, TOS doesn’t look 60s and it doesn’t look like other contemporary genre work.

Pretty blue flowers that make music make Spock smile--that’s my favorite part of the whole pilot. He’s so cute.

A GIRL.

I love that reveal that the transmissions are coming from Talos IV because it means that Spock, while on trial for mutiny and an attempted capital offense, commits ANOTHER capital offense AS PART OF his trial. The balls.

“I respectfully decline.”

Literally the only time he freaks out about anything is when Jim is blamed. I mean truly his plan is at least 50% more complicated than it had to be solely to protect Jim. And now the Captain is going down with him, and he’s mad at him!! A cliffhanger for sure.

Honestly, even the power of Jim just standing alone in the room.... Underrated.

“To be concluded next week.”

#star trek tos #the year 2020 #2020: fandom thoughts #2020: star trek

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ofsage · 5 years ago

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is that [MATTHEW DADDARIO]? no, that’s just [SAGE SLATER]. [HE/HIM] is [TWENTY-EIGHT] years old and is a [PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [ALMOST HIS ENTIRE LIFE]. on a good day, they’re [ASTUTE & JOCUND]. but watch out! they can also be [RECKLESS & UNRULY]. [LOWLIFE BY NECK DEEP] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill! [sam, 23, est, she/her]

hey there demons! it’s me...sam, and i was here briefly once but i decided it might be time to retire the muse i had brought in, so i’m back with a brand new muse that’s still a lot like the last one so please message me if you would like to plot!

i. stats

𝕗𝕦𝕝𝕝 𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖: sage silvestre slater

𝕙𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕠𝕨𝕟: springhill, new jersey

𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕓𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕙: june 1st, 1991

𝕫𝕠𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕔: gemini

𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟: bisexual

𝕠𝕔𝕔𝕦𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟: private investigator

𝕚𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕗𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕪: dr. rosemary slater good ( mother ), professor of psychology at ucla & corwin slater ( father ), retired detective of the springhill police department.

𝕡𝕠𝕤. 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕥𝕤: astute, jocund, ebullient, well-meaning.

𝕟𝕖𝕘. 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕥𝕤: reckless, unruly, flippant, puerile.

ii. history

sage silvestre slater was born and raised in springhill, new jersey. at the time, his mother had a small practice in town while his father was an officer rising quickly through the ranks at the local police department.

he was a precocious kid, but more often than not his natural intelligence was overshadowed by an ostensible inability to sit still and constant antics. ( a diagnosis of adhd later on would explain some of this behavior. ) his teachers were nonplussed and unsure of what to do with him, but his father had a plan.

sage’s father saw potential in him and decided that he would train his son, honing his raw skills and molding him into the perfect detective. five years old when the lessons and lectures began, sage was too young to question his entire life being planned out for him, which often led to feelings of confusion and dejection when he was scolded for spending his time on the things he had a genuine interest in : games, movies, television, spending time with his friends. typical kid stuff that he wasn’t allowed to enjoying.

he was eleven years old when his parents officially divorced, an event he could have handled well by itself, but it led to his mother accepting a job offer all the way in california. he felt abandoned and his father floundered. he was never the parent who dealt with emotions. he eventually decided that his solution was to simply ignore it. he didn’t even try to talk to sage about the divorce or his mother leaving or any of his problems ever.

fishing trips ( something he’s always hated ), rides in the passenger seat of his cruiser ( dampened by lectures on police procedures that he had no interest in ), regular visits to the shooting range ( where it was quickly discovered that he’s a crack shot but he hated it after trying it once ). his father tried everything except talking and listening.

sage was so frustrated and angry that he started acting out. he was getting constant detentions at school and his perpetually middling grades plummeted. he argued with his father every day and broke curfew every night. he bought a motorcycle at sixteen and at seventeen, he dropped out of school and left town in the middle of the night.

it was the first time in his life that he had ever felt freedom. no teachers, no arguments, no controlling father breathing down his neck. he spent a couple months simply wandering around the country, picking up random odd jobs just for the fun of it ( and for the cash ). he had no permanent residence, no responsibilities and no attachments. it was practically paradise for him except for one thing : he can’t turn it off.

he was working as a cashier at some convenience store in the middle of nowhere when it was robbed by several figures in masks that completely covered their faces. sage solved the case with minutes to spare before the police arrived and he immediately told them who to go arrest. the story generated headlines that went viral, and for once in his life he hated the attention he was receiving...until the offers started pouring in.

he found out that people were willing to pay him to solve their mysteries : everything from people asking him to locate their missing keys to assisting police departments around the country with cases, often ones that were labeled unsolvable until he came along.

maybe he wasn’t a police officer at heart...but he was certainly a detective.

by the time he returned to his hometown, sage felt like he was gone for several lifetimes when it had only been a few months. he started renting a cheap apartment and avoided his dad for as long as possible. ( he found out through the local rumor mill that the man had finally retired while he was gone. ) a steady stream of cases kept him busy until one in particular left him stumped and he didn’t know where else to go for advice, except the person who taught him everything he knows about solving a puzzle.

his father disapproved of the business ( which didn’t surprise sage at all ), but would ultimately begin to offer advice whenever his son approached him with a difficult case. the two are currently working on improving their relationship, but often fall back on their old habit of petty squabbling.

PERSONALITY : the textbook definition of man - child. spends his free time playing video games, watching movies and eating snacks. has a joke or sarcastic remark prepared for every single occasion and he takes almost NOTHING seriously. constant obscure pop culture references mixed with eerily accurate statements about a complete stranger can make him difficult to hold a conversation with, but he’s also affable and witty. he’s an extremely loyal friend who’s always there when it counts, but not the best person to trust with the little things because he will fuck up somehow. does ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING purely for the fun of it. a literal genius who’s borderline ashamed of his intelligence.

iii. extras

sage is hyper - observant and highly skilled at deductive reasoning. he can look at something for all of five seconds and then hours later he’s describing it perfectly, right down to even the tiniest detail. he often learns things about people through his observations rather than through conversation, which he sometimes forgets and so he slips up and says weird things to people about themselves.

he loves movies and television. there’s always something on in the background when he’s working on a case, and most of the time it’s something obscure and / or 80s.

takes adderall for his adhd, but he’s really irresponsible about it so from day to day whether or not he’s on his medication is honestly a toss up.

HUGE COMMITMENTPHOBE. it’s likely part of his abandonment issues. he tries to avoid relationships altogether, but if he gets into one then he’s a total disaster and usually resorts to self - sabotaging when things are going well so that he isn’t abandoned again.

in high school he was captain of the baseball team and he played football and basketball. he had his letters and probably would’ve gotten noticed by scouts if he hadn’t dropped out and run away from home.

he has a sweet tooth, which is obvious due to his diet of nothing but candy, snacks, and junk food. he’s always hungry and usually always eating because he somehow always has food on him.

he was probably born late and has continued the trend by never ever being on time even once in his life.

wears mismatched converse high top sneakers : one green, one blue. a decision made because one day he just could not find either of the other shoe has turned into a fashion statement and is now one of his most distinctive quirks.

drives a norton motorcycle that he basically built from scratch himself and it’s his child. he loves it and he drives it everywhere to the point where’s racked up A LOT of unpaid parking tickets in town.

he’s well known for sticking his nose into the local police department’s cases. he might occasionally provide useful information, but for the most part he’s probably viewed as a nuisance who gets by on his father’s goodwill.

iv. wanted connections

lifelong best friend / watson to his sherlock *wc on the main

cousins ( maternal and paternal, don’t necessarily have to be from springhill so almost anything goes for this )

friends

clients AND people he’s investigated

enemies / people who find him annoying

high school friends

exes / flings / one night stands

( these are just a few base ideas, so please don’t feel limited by what’s listed here! )

#springhillintro #abandonment tw #crime tw #medication tw #hello everyone!

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refractionrp · 4 years ago

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LOADING DATA . . . AHN HEEJIN ( june ) the SCALES OF JUSTICE 43k.87.056-007.exe / 79. 06. 30 - 43. 07. 01 eternally 24

life before death

i. average. a painfully dull word that describes heejin’s early life better than any other. aside from her korean roots, there is nothing special about the girl. nothing that sets her apart; nothing that is even the least bit interesting. her father works an office job just out of toronto, and her mother earns some extra money cleaning the houses of the filthy rich. out of three daughters, she is the middle one. the forgotten one. not that it matters much; her parents don’t have much time for any of them. her sisters seem to be perfectly fine living an anonymous life–but not heejin. she was meant to be so much more.

ii. she wonders what it’d be like to be seen. for people to know her name, to whisper behind her back. her hand-me-downs only have her stand out for all the wrong reasons, and she is just so tired of it all. at home, she begs her mother for some clothes of her own. begs her father to give her some pocket money. all the other kids get it, why shouldn’t she? don’t they want to see her happy? don’t they love her? she is sixteen years old, for christ’s sake. girls her age should be discovering who they are, but how can she, when she has next to nothing? when her grades pale in comparison to her older sister, and her looks pale when she is next to the youngest. why doesn’t anyone understand that she is tired of being a nobody? why can’t she be like the rest of them?

why is it all so fucking unfair?

so many questions, so few answers. the girls at school ignore her; the boys don’t even know her name. well, except for that one nerdy girl who always smells like her grandmother’s old house, and the boy with the uncombed hair and broken glasses. they are at the bottom of the food chain–and so is she. unnoticed. uncared for. if at least her grades were top of the class, she could have lived with it. but of course, it is all too much to ask for. so. fucking. unfair.

iii. high school passes painfully slow. nothing interesting ever happens. same old, every day. even her part time job is as basic as it gets, working at one of the local coffee shops. not even starbucks or tim hortons. just a small, unknown cafe. like all else, bland. it would almost be laughable if it weren’t so frustrating.

eighteen years old, and she still doesn’t have her own room. when is her sister finally going to move out? isn’t she old enough to live on her own? god, if at least she could have a place of her own, perhaps things would be better. but the bitch just doesn’t want to leave. it’s a hot summer night when their parents come home to the both of them yelling at each other; throwing insults and pulling strands of hair. they try to interfere, but it backfires entirely. ugly tears, accusations, slamming doors. why couldn’t they try harder to find a better job? why was she born into this family; why was she even born at all?!

she doesn’t even apologise the next day. instead, she decides there and then to throw her whole life upside down–for good.

iv. it starts relatively small. a twenty dollar bill, twice a week. once from her father, once from her mother. just a little extra to add to her less-than-rewarding pay from the coffee shop, and only so she can buy herself that pretty shade of lipstick one of the popular girls at college had been wearing. her parents never need to know. just this once. doesn’t she deserve it?

that is how she starts to resonate it all. she does deserve this. all those years of living in everyone’s shadow, and finally she is becoming someone worth gossiping about. their attention becomes her heroin; twenty dollar bills taken from her parents become twenty dollar bills taken from her job. they become snatched labels from pretty dresses, tucked away underneath her clothes as she pays only for a cheaper pair of earrings. within a few months time, she blooms from a gloomy outsider into one of the most popular girls in school. the relationship with her parents is worse than ever; her sisters don’t even bother talking to her anymore, and her old friends have literally called her an arrogant snob.

but the jocks chase after her and the cheerleaders have taken her in as one of their own.

she loves every single minute of it.

v. once warm-hearted and gentle, the popularity soon turns her into a shadow of her old self. a monster, as her mother would so kindly dub her. she will do anything for attention, and that includes hurting people. madison, please don’t talk to us anymore until you fix your shower. samuel, what on earth makes you think a nerd like you would be good enough for a girl like me? the harsher the words, the louder the laughter of her friends. she is both one of the most loved and the most hated people in her college, and it has her feeling absolutely invincible. it is better to be hated than ignored, after all. she should know.

vi. it should come as no surprise that heejin snatches a job as a reporter after college, oftentimes spinning the truth enough to make for an enthralling story. it is a known fact that people don’t want to read the boring truth. they want to read something worth their times; something shocking. sensational. is it her fault that people thrive on that? she is simply catering to their needs. who cares if she has to harm a person or two in the process? it pays her bills, after all. what’s more, seeing her name highlighted in the papers is almost magical. she is no longer just a sidekick to the queen bee; she has become the queen bee herself.

vii. something about icarus and flying too close to the sun. she should have slowed down while she was ahead. but of course, she kept on pushing. kept on finding bigger targets. destroyed their names in the papers, just for the hell of it. bragged about her accomplishments at parties and basked in all of the attention that she’d receive; all of the compliments that she was showered in.

and then comes the day that ends it all. 2024. she can vividly remember the cops telling her that she is under arrest before they drag her out of her office. all eyes on her, but for once, she does not enjoy it. case after case after case is being read to her. the lies she’s told in the papers (that have actually ruined companies and people, apparently), the goods that she has stolen (probably should have never bragged about that to old friends), her invasion of privacy on multiple occasions.. seems like having enemies isn’t all that great, after all.

she lands herself in prison with nobody but herself to count on. nobody that wants to visit her. nobody that wants to take her side. her reputation is gone, her credibility is gone, and as soon as her name disappears from the papers, her memory will be gone, too.

life after death

it is hard to pick up the pieces of your life after a downfall as bad as hers. nobody on earth had wanted anything to do with her anymore after her release. no job would take her back in. her family had not even tried to listen to her side of the story (which was crap, anyway). when she finally died, she did so on the streets. all alone.

and she had deserved it.

refraction is everything she had never dared to wish for. a place where nobody knows her name or her story. they don’t know just how terrible of a person she had been on earth or that she had to lie her way to the top. it is a second chance at life, and she will not make the same mistake twice. her very own redemption arc.

she is the self-proclaimed leader of the welcoming committee in refraction, eager to ease everyone into a smooth transmission. her way of adding value to the community and making sure that everyone settles in just fine. besides, it allows her to get to know everyone as soon as they arrive, and it ensure that they know her, too.

and perhaps there’s just the slightest bit of desire left to be known. validated. but no longer does she think that it is better to be feared than to be loved. never again does she want to be lonely again. death had been a way out once, but it won’t be an option again. no more room to fuck up–this time she is stuck here, forever.

(too bad that even her good intentions have a way of landing her into trouble. karma, is it not?)

#re.accepted #re.scales of justice

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singledarkshade · 6 years ago

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Entwined Hearts

Summary: Rip Hunter's perfect life is suddenly shattered when his wife is killed in a car accident leaving him to raise his son. Gideon has been sick for several years in need of a heart transplant, she's given a few hours left to live when a heart suddenly becomes available. Just over a year later, Rip is trying to start his life once more when he meets Gideon. They grow closer but their pasts are more entwined than either knows. Author’s Note: This is sort of based on the basic premise of the movie Return To Me. I have zero medical knowledge so please ignore all errors in that area. It is finished so will be up quickly. Enjoy. ********************************************* Part One

Laughter echoed out the door when Rip opened it, making him smile to be home.

“Daddy!!!”

The joyful cry from his three-year-old son made Rip grin even wider and he reached out to scoop the little boy up into his arms.

“Hi, little man,” Rip kissed the boy’s cheek, “Have you had a good day?”

Jonas gave an affirmative nod, “Missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Rip told him.

“Only him?” came the amused question as his beautiful wife walked towards him.

Leaning over Rip kissed her, “Of course not.”

Miranda plucked their son out of his arms, “Well, dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Come on, Jonas. We’ll let your daddy put his things away while we set the table.”

Giving him a cheeky grin Miranda disappeared back into the dining room, Rip shook his head still unable to believe how lucky he was to have the most amazing woman in the world in his life and a son they both adored.

Hanging his jacket up, Rip took his bag into the office and put it away neatly next to one of the few boxes left to unpack. They’d moved in a few months ago to their dream home, after Rip got the job at Star City University as a lecturer. It allowed Miranda to quit her job at the restaurant, that meant they barely saw each other, and take a part-time job at the art gallery she loved. It also allowed her to go back to painting in the small attic studio Rip had set up as a surprise.

“Are you joining us tonight, Hunter?” Miranda’s amused voice came from the dining room, “Because your son is about to eat his plate.”

Smiling to himself Rip called back, “I’m coming.”

Jonas was finally asleep. He had demanded just one more story several times of his parents who were sitting on either side of his bed. They tried not to but there were times they indulged their little boy’s wishes. Besides it was Friday night, so they didn’t have to get up for work tomorrow morning that letting him stay up a little later didn’t matter too much.

Rip closed the door to Jonas’ room quietly and sighed in relief when there was no sign the little boy had woken up. Rip loved his son, but Jonas could run rings around the two of them.

“So,” Miranda wrapped her arms around his neck, “Are you ready to try to make another little angel?”

Sliding his arms around her waist, Rip laughed, “Little angel? You referred to him as the demon spawn yesterday.”

“But you saw him sleeping there,” Miranda replied, her voice filled with adoration, “We could do that again. Maybe a little girl this time. A little princess for you to spoil.”

At her smile Rip kissed her, “Sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it,” Miranda murmured, touching a few kisses to his neck.

Moaning softly at her continuing gentle touches, Rip moaned, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am,” Miranda dragged him into their bedroom.

Rip was woken by the sound of the bedroom door banging open, he opened his eyes to see his little boy wander in. Jonas was clad in his favourite pyjamas, blue with space ships covering them, dragging his bear along by its ear.

Gary Bear had been Miranda’s when she was a child and was passed to Jonas who went nowhere without him. There had been a major temper tantrum during the house move when Gary Bear was lost for the longest five minutes of their lives. Reaching out Rip caught his son and pulled him up, planting a kiss on his pudgy cheek before resting him on the bed between his parents. Jonas squirmed until he was settled under the covers leaning against the pillow with Gary in his arms. Rip lay with his arm across the two people who mattered most in the world to him. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have them.

He remembered meeting Miranda for the first time, they were fifteen and had been made lab partners. Rip had been sure that she wouldn’t even look in his direction outside the class, never mind go out with him. But she did. In fact she asked him and Rip couldn’t imagine his life without her or Jonas in it.

They’d started trying for a second baby a few weeks before, now that they were in the position to have another child. Jonas had been a bit of an accident. Rip was hoping for a girl who looked like her mother because he couldn’t think of anything better.

Miranda opened her eyes and smiled at him as Jonas lay between them talking to his bear. Rip slid his hand into hers, enjoying the perfect morning with his family.

*********************************************

“What are you doing?”

The annoyed voice made Gideon look over to the door where her best friend stood, arms folded across her chest with a frown on her face.

“I’m working,” Gideon noted, “What does it look like, Lily?”

“The doctor’s said you’re meant to be resting?” Lily moved to the side of Gideon’s bed, “Not stressing yourself out.”

Gideon rolled her eyes, “I’m writing a computer game for kids, it’s not like I’m trying to climb a mountain. Hey,” she cried as Lily shut the laptop lid.

“You’re meant to be resting,” Lily stated again disapprovingly, “Caitlin was very specific when they released you this morning.”

Gideon sighed, “I have been in hospital all week and I am still in a bed, Lily. I am so bored, I just want to pretend to be normal for a while.”

“I know,” Lily took her hand, “And I hate this too but…” she took a breath, “You will get a new heart. I know this, don’t give up hope.”

Sadly Gideon nodded, “I won’t. Since you refuse to let me work, I’m going to get some sleep.”

Squeezing her hand, Lily leaned over and kissed Gideon’s forehead, “I’ll let Mom know. Night.”

Gideon slid to lie down, annoyed when her arm and hand was caught on her IV line. It had been a cold, a stupid cold virus that Gideon thought she’d shake off in a few days. Then she fainted at work, woke up in the emergency room and the next thing she knew the doctors were telling her that her heart was damaged beyond repair. Gideon was now on the transplant list and spent her time either in hospital or in the room her best friend’s parents had set up for her.

The life she intended to have on hold as she hoped for a miracle.

“Good morning,” Clarissa Stein smiled when she opened the door the next morning and brought in a tray with Gideon’s breakfast on it, “How are you today?”

Letting out a long sigh Gideon shrugged, “I’m okay.”

“Okay,” Clarissa set the tray down, “I made you an omelette, with some orange juice. There’s water for your medicine as well.”

“Thank you, Clarissa,” Gideon said because as bored as she was, Gideon was grateful that she had been taken in by the Steins.

Gideon and Lily had met at university becoming the best of friends, they’d rented an apartment together for the last few years of their course. Gideon had been on her own since her parents had died not long after her sixteenth birthday so when she met her new friend’s parents, she was surprised but happy that they basically adopted her as their own within minutes. A few years after they finished University Gideon moved to Central City to take a job with Palmer Tech, to Lily’s excitement. When she’d fallen ill Clarissa and Martin insisted that she stay with them until she was better. Gideon wasn’t sure that would ever happen, but she appreciated their kindness. However, all the equipment needed was bought by her. She had the money. Inherited from her parents and Gideon made a lot of smart investments.

While she waited for a heart, Gideon had been relieved when her doctor’s boyfriend’s friend needed a programmer for his small start-up company. It wasn’t hard work or paid more than buttons, but Gideon cared about neither. It gave her something to focus on when the exhaustion and despair filled her.

“Oh,” Clarissa said, “Your friend Cisco dropped off a flash drive for you. He wants you to look over it when you get a chance.”

“Thank you, Clarissa,” Gideon smiled slightly.

Giving her another smile Clarissa started out the room, “Let me know if you need anything.”

Forcing a smile onto her face Gideon nodded.

Maybe one day she would be able to go back to living her life.

*********************************************

“Jonas, come here,” Rip chased his laughing son around the living room, “It’s time to go.”

The little boy giggled enjoying his game.

“If you don’t come then you won’t get to see all our friends at the party,” Rip reminded him.

Jonas stalled before he turned and ran to his father who lifted the boy into his arms.

“Why do we have to go to this?” Miranda asked with a pout on her face.

“Because Quentin is our friend,” Rip noted as he put Jonas’ jacket in him.

Miranda rolled her eyes, “You almost get arrested once and you can’t get rid of the cop.”

Rip chuckled, “He didn’t arrest you.”

“How would you know?” she tossed over her shoulder as she checked the small bag for Jonas, “You weren’t there.”

“Quentin told me the story,” Rip reminded her adding before she could say anything, “And I believe him rather than you in this.”

Miranda rolled her eyes and took Jonas into her arms, “Make sure you remember the wine.”

Watching her head out to the car to strap Jonas in, Rip smiled amused. It had been only a month after they’d moved to Star City, Miranda was out with a few of her new work mates when a man had tried to grope one of the women. Miranda stopped him, so he tried to hit her and discovered a few seconds later that the small brunette was a black belt.

Quentin Lance, Detective in the Star City PD was at the bar meeting a friend and had intervened. The guy didn’t want to press charges, not wanting to let anyone know he’d been knocked down by a woman almost a foot smaller than he was. Since the owner wanted her out, Quentin offered Miranda a lift home, discovering that they lived on the same block. Now, several years later, they were still good friends with him and his wife Dinah.

The party was for Quentin’s birthday, so he had decided to have a barbecue. The back garden of the house was already full of people when they arrived, Rip could feel Jonas squirming to get down so he could start running around.

“Hey, there’s my favourite boy,” the blonde appeared.

“Say,” Jonas cried, clapping his hands, “Say.”

Sara Lance reached out, Rip let the little boy jump into her arms and Sara hugged him close.

“Let’s go and say hello to everyone,” Sara kissed the boy before she gave Rip and Miranda a smile, disappearing into the crowd with their son.

Miranda hugged Rip’s arm, “I do love seeing our friends.”

“And I thought you didn’t want to come,” Rip reminded her amused.

Giving a soft chuckle, Miranda murmured to him, “We could always find an empty room and have another go at making a baby.”

Rolling his eyes Rip laughed, “We’re at our friends’ birthday party.”

“Wimp,” she shot at him, before smiling as Dinah Lance came over to greet them.

Jonas was chasing the Lance’s next-door neighbour’s puppy had just got, while they sat around the garden finishing their drinks and the food. Rip kept his arm around his wife keeping half an eye on their son while he ran around.

“So, summer vacation,” Quentin noted as he handed them another drink, “What are you doing now your classes have ended?”

Rip smiled, “We’re heading home next week and staying with my mother for a month. Jonas will be spoiled rotten.”

“That’s what grandmothers are for,” Dinah noted, smiling at her daughters who nodded in agreement.

Miranda laughed, “Although Mary makes sure she tells us how hard it is that she doesn’t get to see her grandson because we moved so far away from her.”

“But that is your fault,” Rip reminded her amused, “Since you persuaded me to move here.”

Miranda chuckled again, “I gave her a grandson. That saved me.”

“Is Jonas going to get a brother or sister one of these days?” Dinah asked, grinning when they glanced at one another quickly, “And?”

Shaking her head, Miranda replied, “We’re thinking about it. Rip is getting more responsibility next year at work and the gallery is giving me more hours after the summer. Adding a baby right now…”

“It’s a lot,” Rip finished for her, “But we’d like another one.”

“You could just get a dog,” Sara suggested motioning to where Jonas was playing, “He wouldn’t know the difference.”

Laurel laughed, “Well, that’s not true exactly. A dog would be less annoying than a younger sibling.”

Sara threw a roll at her sister as the rest of the group laughed.

Jonas giggled as Sara tickled him while helping him put his jacket on.

“Say bye to Sara,” Rip said to his son.

Jonas gave her a sweet smile, “Bye, bye Say.”

Sara took the little face in her hands and pressed several kisses to his cheeks, “Bye, my boy. I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay,” Rip pulled his son away from her, “We’ll see you on Monday morning.”

“I’ll be there by nine,” she promised.

Rip smiled, “Thanks for agreeing to watch him while we pack.”

“It’s not a problem. You know I’m happy to watch Jonas whenever you need,” Sara said, opening the car door for him, Rip efficiently got Jonas into his car seat and strapped in before the little boy could try to escape. Turning he saw Miranda hugging Dinah.

“We’ll see you when you get back,” Dinah told them, “Enjoy your trip and say hello to Mary from us.”

Miranda nodded before she climbed into the driver’s seat while Rip slid into the seat beside Jonas, “We will.”

With a bright smile she started the car, the radio springing to life and a song filling the car. As they pulled away, Jonas waved to everyone. The couple sang along with the music as Miranda drove while Rip made Gary Bear dance for their son who laughed and clapped.

The sound of screeching brakes filled the car before there was a loud bang, a tinkling of glass, the car was suddenly on its’ side and Rip fell into blackness.

#fic #legends of tomorrow #rip hunter #mirada coburn #jonas hunter #gideon #timeship #Alternate Universe

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wiener-soldiers · 6 years ago

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hallelujah (part ii) - steve trevor

summary: After being a recent thief-turned-spy, you find yourself working side by side with a certain American air force captain. However, the workplace romance trope was getting really old, but it was hard not to fall far your spy partner, Steve Trevor.

words: 2,155 (i didn’t intend for it to be this long)

warnings: more angsty than i originally intended mY BAD

taglist: @sebastianstanfoundmymixtape @httpmcrvel @lionheo04 @stupendoussciencenaturepanda

a/n: so i was originally going to discontinue this series but ive been getting a lot of positive support for it and i found the inspo to write this again!

Your faith was strong, you needed proof. You saw her bathing on the roof,

the beauty and the moonlight over-through ya.

She tied you to your kitchen chair, she broke your throne and she cut your hair.

And from your lips, she drew a Hallelujah.

As the months progressed, you and Steve got closer. As promised, he gave your family security and your brother Jack was attending fifth grade at a private school in London. You saw your family often, given your job. Whenever you had a spare moment, you traveled as fast as you could to your home, often offering to bring Steve along with you and drop him off wherever his family lived before you took the taxi home.

“You need to see family too, Steve,” you would always tell him when he refused. The both of you were standing in the lobby of the office that you and Steve used as a base of sorts.

“Nah, I don’t have any family in the city. My folks still live in the US, and my fiancée lives in Paris.”

“Fiancée?” you ask, confused. Steve never talked about being in a relationship, or engaged for that matter. As the two of you continued to work together, gathering intel and infiltrating secret meetings of the Germans, you had began harboring a (not so) small crush on the blond haired-blue eyed man. You admired his dedication for his work and his country, but also his compassion. Really, it was hard not to fall for him. So your heart wavered slightly when you asked him about his ‘fiancée’.

“Her name is Sarah. I--uh, don’t talk about her often. She used to live in London, but moved to Paris for her modeling career,” he responds shyly, casting his gaze downwards as his cheeks begin to heat up.

“Oh,” was your only reply.

“I just don’t want her getting caught up in this whole ‘spy’ business, you know? She know I’m in the army, but she thinks I’m just stationed in London, not a spy,” he explains once he realizes your lack of responses. “If she found out that I shake hands with Germans and steal their information, she’d flip and basically put me on house arrest,” he jokes, trying to resolve the awkward air.

But you can’t find it in yourself to laugh, “I see.”

You and Steve stare at each other uncomfortably for a few seconds before he clears his throat, “So I’ll see you back in a few days? I heard you were taking a few days off for your mother’s birthday.”

“Actually,” Etta calls from behind Steve (you swear that woman can teleport), “the two of you just got orders to go undercover at a weapons dealer’s party. They suspect he is selling experimental weapons to the Germans. The party starts at seven at a high end hotel downtown.”

You audibly sigh, “So much for my vacation.”

Etta gives you a sympathetic look, “Sorry, darling.”

“It’s alright Etta, there’s nothing we can do about it now. Send us the details of the party and our covers and alibis,” you tell her before walking away, the heel of your boots clicking on the floor.

“Where are you going?” Steve calls after you.

“You think I’m going to a party dressed like this? Pick me up at my apartment at seven, Trevor. Don’t be late,” you call as you turn around and walk backwards to look at him while adding, “And be sure to wear a red bow-tie or a pocket square of something. I want us to match.”

Sure, you had a crush on your partner. But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t get the job done in style.

You and Steve walk hand in up the stairs to the hotel the party was located at. The weapons dealer had put out that the party was a “party to celebrate the successes of science,” but in reality it was a cover up for the dealing of weapons.

Your mission was to gather as much intelligence about the new weapons and positively identify the weapons dealer, the German buyer, and any other potential buyer.

Tonight, you and Steve were not Y/N Y/L/N and Steve Trevor, you were Mrs. and Dr. Barrow, and potential buyers of these weapons.You had flown in from France a few nights before and were currently looking for new weapons to buy as representatives of a French private security company. Your deep red night gown sashayed as you walked up the steps leading to the grand entrance of the hotel, arms linked with Steve. As you neared the entrance, you said a small greeting to the young man at the door before you fixed your audacious curls. Steve began to step inside before you stopped him mid-step and pulled him back through the open door, bringing him to the side.

“What?” he asks, glancing around the entrance and fixing his fake glasses.

Your reached forward and straightened his matching deep red pocket square, “We have to make this look believable, Dr. Steve Barrow. Nothing screams ‘married couple’ like a wife straightening her husband’s pocket square. And you should’ve went with the bow tie,” you note after you glance down at Steve’s bare collar, the top two buttons undone.

“I thought it looked tacky.”

“Fair point. Bow ties are more of a mathematician thing.”

The two of gave each other one more comforting glance, getting lost in each other’s eyes before Steve clears his throat, offering you his arm to link.

“Alors ma cher, vient avec moi s’il vous plaît. On a une grande challenge pour complètera,” he smiles softly at you, reverting to his French accent as part of your cover story. You had always wondered where he learned such believable French, but you now figured it was because he spent so much time with his soon to be wife in Paris.

“D’accord, Monsieur Barrow. Allons y,” you reply, your red-stained lips mirroring the smirk on his, though yours had more weight behind them. Despite your crush on the handsome man, you couldn’t help but feel like you were betraying his fiancée, despite never meeting her, by pretending to play Steve’s wife. However your feelings needed to be pushed aside as you had a job to do, so the two of you trek into the luxurious hotel and the recon mission began.

The party dragged on for another hour or so and you and Steve were busy as ever collecting intel from unsuspecting party-goers and using sly movements to figure out if the person was friend or foe.

Around eleven when most people were inebriated, the party shifted to the roof of the hotel, where a bar had been set up and the soft jazz played from the live band cut through the cool night air.

You were clutched on to Steve’s arm as he strolled around the rooftop, trying to shield yourself from the cool London breeze. Goosebumps run up your arms as you let out a shiver. Maybe such a revealing dress was not the wisest choice on a cool evening. However your shiver did not go unnoticed by Steve.

“Est-ce que tu es froide, ma belle?”

“No,” you replied, almost too quickly. Steve stopped in front of the roof ledge to look at you, eyebrows raised. You succumbed to his confrontation, “Alright! Maybe a little...”

He chuckles before sliding the blazer off his shoulders and placing it onto yours. Though it may be caused by the ridiculous amounts of champagne or the cool night breeze, but you were certain the pink blush that started up your neck was caused by Steve’s chivalrous gesture.

“Thanks,” you whisper before turning to look out at the skyline. Most of the city was asleep, but the usual car did roll by or the sound of laughter in the distance made the city seem lively.

“It’s sort of beautiful, isn’t it?” you ask out loud, not really expecting an answer from the man next to you.

“Yeah, yeah it is,” he hums softly. With your gaze locked on the city below, you didn’t notice Steve’s gaze locked on you. The wind blew your hair sideways, making some of your curls dance above your face. The moonlight reflected a soft glow onto your skin, as your eyes reflected the yellow street lights down below. Steve could’ve sworn that he could stare at you forever as you bathed in the moonlight, with his jacket loosely hanging off your shoulders. How he wishes that the jacket around your shoulders was him, pulling you close and resting his chin on the top of your head.

A loud high pitched fit of female laughter broke Steve’s trance, turning to look for the source. What he saw made him freeze in his tracks.

Your fucking kidding me, was his only thought.

There she was. The tall, green-eyed blonde, with short tight curls, blood-red lips, and a tight, revealing black dress with a slit so high it left very little to the imagination. She was pressed up against a man, her leg seductively crossed in between his, one hand curled on his chest with the other holding a glass of champagne. The man had one hand wrapped around her waist, the other nursing a cigar in between his fingers.

Steve’s blood boiled. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The man leaned in, whispering something in the woman’s ear to which she responded by pressing a hard kiss to the side of his mouth, leaving a lipstick stain behind.

Steve felt betrayed and broken. The woman he thought he loved, who he proposed to, was kissing another man.

“Patricia?” he utters quietly in disbelief.

“Who?” you ask, turning to him. You notice his rigid stance and his pale face, “Steve, what’s going on? Are you alright?”

He nods towards the man and the woman snuggled up together across the roof, expression absolutely livid, “That’s...my fiancée, that’s Patricia. She said she was in Paris and she would visit next week--”

“Steve...”

“I don’t understand, why is she here? How did she get here?”

“Steve.”

“Oh my god, does she know I’m a spy? Is she here to blow my cover?!”

“Steven!” you snap at him. He whips his head towards yours, fury ridden all over his face.

“What?!”

“The man she’s with...that’s the man we positively ID-ed as the German buyer of the weapons,” you answer bleakly, gulping as you continue. “She’s affiliated with the Germans, Steve.”

“No...” he whispers in disbelief. You look up in his blue eyes, which are threatening to fill with tears.

You gently tug his arm, “Come on. Let’s go to my place. We have enough intel for one night.”

Steve is silent the entire way back to your apartment, tears softly falling on his cheeks.

It’s about one in the morning when you come back into the living room of your apartment. The minute you unlocked the front door, Steve walked in a robot-like trance to the couch in the middle of your living room. He just sat there, crying and contemplating while you placed his blazer that was still on your shoulder on the arm of the couch before you prepared yourself for bed.

Your feet padded on the cold floors as you made your way back to where Steve was sitting. In silence, you sit down beside him and stare ahead.

You sit like that for another ten minutes or so before Steve is the first to break the silence, “I didn’t know.”

You inhale, “No one could have.”

“I could have,” he insists in a monotone voice, “This is entire time I dedicated my life and my love to a woman who is sleeping with a German.”

“You and I both know that we can’t know for sure.”

He scoffs, “I know her. She always had a plan. I was her plan. She knows I’m in the military and she knows I can get her what she wants. She just needed to know where those damn Germans are.”

You open your mouth to interrupt but he continues, “And the worst part is, I don’t even know when she started seeing him. Before we started dating, or during our relationship?” When you shoot him a sympathetic look, he adds, “I guess it doesn’t matter now, does it?”

You softly place a hand on his knee, letting him know that he is not alone. He quickly takes hold of your hand and laces his fingers with yours.

“Steve,” you start, “you can’t beat yourself up over this. You didn’t know, you couldn’t have.”

“I thought I really loved her, Y/N. We were supposed to be married, and have children, and grow old together.”

You didn’t know what to say. So you stayed silent. The only comfort you could offer him was your presence, so you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and he turned into your chest and cried.

#i am so sorry about all the pain i put my bb steve through #he!! deserves!! more!!#steve trevor #steve trevor imagine #steve trevor x reader #chris pine #chris pine imagine #chris pine x reader #wonder woman #gal gadot #dc #eliza speaks #wiener soldiers #wiener soldiers imagine

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nobleofthemanor · 6 years ago

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Self help doesnt always work

When I was born my parents weren't in a stable place. My dad 20, strung out on heroine and was a dealer himself. My mom was 19 almost 20. Both grew up in abusive, neglective, and manipulative house holds till they married at 18. Neither had very great examples of parenting. My dad was either partying (sometimes at our home) or doing drugs. He did some things that Im not comfortable sharing on the internet, mostly because it's not my place to say it.

My surrounding family wasnt very stable either. My mom did her best to raise me and two sisters, but after my second sister was born she had a 2, 1 and newborn. I dont remember if she was trying to do college or not, but I know she was going through alot on top of raising kids.

My parents life changed drastically a few months before my 3rd birthday. My dad was busted and my mother was arrested with him. On the way to meet the cops my dad had given his life to Christ. Now this didnt mean he stopped struggling with his drug addiction. It took him roughly 6 months to truly quit, but he did. It was a hard six months as they had to deal with themselves and their relationship. (They almost divorced at one point).

Eventually my family reached a point of stabillity. My dad became a pastor at the church that had supported and guided him in his walk with christ. He also joined another ministry and started helping people who struggled the same way he did.

Id like to state both my parents had alot of issues. Both had to deal with their abusive past, parental issues, trust issues. They also had sepererate issues that the other did not have. but fast forward 15 years, with the help God, the wounds have healed.

My dad is no longer in drug ministry, but has taken on a more adminastrative role in the church. My family is still together and closer than ever. Also, in a few months my parents will celebrate 21 years of marriage and over 25 years of being together. My great granfather and great grandmother have both given their lives to christ(something my dad has been praying for since they were the ones who raised him). I graduated Highschool ast year and one of my younger sisters is about to graduate highschool and is hoping to join the airforce.

Im in college now and currently working in a preschool that my church runs. I love every moment of it.

While this is my wholesome storry it doesnt quite end there.

You see, while my parents had dealt with their issues and had healed. I had not.

My dad was saved when I was 3. So, for those three years of my life I lived in that really unstable enviroment. I suffered constant nightmares. I was also being somewhat raised by my grandparents, as they were usually baby sitting us when my mom and dad went to work/school. I was also the first born to two people who had bad examples of parenting. Basically, the trial run/expeirement I dont remember much of those three years, but I do know living in that enviroment for those years really affectted me growing up. However, my sisters were lucky as they were to young to be affected.

Growing up I was a really overly emotional child. I got angry and violent quickly. I had an attention span of 2 seconds. I tended to easily take things personal. I was really chatty and wuth drawn at the same time. I tended to be a loner at school. I was terrified of many things. When I was about 7/8, maybe 9, I dealt with feeling like my family would have been better off with out me and started physically seperating myself from my family. Eating at a seperate table when we sat at the four seater table or staying several feet behind if we were walking somwhere. Whenever my paeents would get on to me, I would try to make my self small by putting myself into a corner. I was always anxious like I should be on the run. I was/am constantly second guessing myself. I had broken record in my head that I was never enough. There are alot of other things that I cant think of at the. All in all it was just general behaviors that werent normal. I wasnt a normal child to begin with, but these were big clues that I was dealing with stuff and not coping very well. Im sure I have some form of anxiety and ADD. Though I highly doubt it, I wouldnt be surprised if someone told me Im autistic. On top of it all I had the pressure of putting on a good face as a pastor's kid, which didnt help.

As I got older I tended to become obsessed with things. When I was 11 I became addicted to anime and did things Im not proud of. It was a bad coping mechanism and I ended up wasting about 4 years of my life living in my room. Dont get me wrong, there were good times when I first started getting into it, but at the end of those 4 years I was a borderline fem-neckbeared I even had a fedora. I realized how much time Id wasted and manage to break the addiction, but the issues were still there.

My parents did there best to help me. I saw two different therapist one my parents made me visit as a kid and one I asked for as a teen. I stopped going to them for different reasons. My parents couldnt afford itanymore. And the second one was because I didnt see any change.

Both of these therapist were in my small town. Both were men, and both knew who my parents were. It made talking to them and opening up hard. So I stopped going.

Fast forward to six months ago. I started college and a new job. Both required my full attention forcing me to stop going to church and quit my volunteer work. I couldnt keep up and my anxiety was always present. Especially since I felt like I couldnt keep up with the fast paced required there. I felt like I was drowning and I couldn't take this feeling of being broken any more, so I asked my mom about seeing a therapist again. At first Mom was against it, I was at the point where I would take whatever medicine if it meant this insanity would stop. Mom is the type who doesnt rely on meds or people, she and God can fix it. She did eventually agree and we found a therapist. A wonderfull woman whose office is located in a learning center for autistic kids. Which is really cool.

The two of us instantly clicked and I enjoy my visits. I do my best to follow her advice. She has been the first person to truly tell me, your feelings are vallid. I can honestly say Ive improved more in my six months with her than I did in 18 years of trying to fix myself. My relationships and my life gratefull.

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overbakedone · 6 years ago

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this is the first time i've ever started writing my thoughts and feelings anywhere before. this is not easy.

instead of writing things and then deleting it all because its not good enough or it sounds stupid i'm just going to write it now and stop backspacing. i guess i should start with where i am in life right now so there is some perspective.

im 25, im a bakers apprentice, i live with my parents, i have a girlfriend, lets call her ‘C’ who for the first time feels right to me despite everything, i barely have any friends, they don't ever want to see me, i don't have much time in my life right now, i work all night and struggle to fit sleep into my schedule. but things are really the best they have ever been for me. i just started an AFL 9′s competition, weird i usually have no confidence going into these things and will either quit after the first practice or not even show up, i really kinda enjoyed it and am excited for next week.

i've wanted to start writing anything for a few months now, i guess now i have some time. time is so fucked up, i wish there was more of it, i wish i could sleep without wasting my day, i wish i didn't have to compromise sleep for everything but i do, i guess its part of being a baker, its a job i am loving and i think i've found my life passion but it has its ups and downs. my partner C expects a lot of my time i guess, she can be very needy at times, demanding almost, sometimes i feel pressured by her to sacrifice my sleep, personal plans and hobbies and interests for her, but i know what she feels, she wants the same thing i do. she has problems making friends, or keeping friends, she feels isolated and alone, and she wants my companionship, and i want that too and despite anything i feel in the moment i always feel happy about her at the end of the day.

i should be grateful for the relationship i am in right now, i really should be grateful for a lot of stuff, my parents for allowing me to stay here still, being so supportive and also allowing and accepting of me and really tolerant of the shit i do. ok so i do smoke week every day right so that's already something to do at home that's difficult, i'm pretty sure they know and don't care or even agree that my life has been better since i started smoking, fuck i used to be on antidepressants, i took one every day at a certain time, it made me feel a bit better, ok sounds just like smoking right, expect when i didn't take this pill i got nausea, headaches, severe episodes of depression, i couldn't eat my appetite was so fucked up i was eating one meal a day and it was like a piece of bread or takeaway food. since the smoking started i've found some actual passion in life, i don't feel like a useless number anymore i guess.

one of the things on my mind always is my friends, since i was in highschool i havent really had a group of friends, i feel like i am a social person but then when it comes to it i feel like i just get burned. a lot of my old friends turned out to be secretly hating me and not wanting me around, some sort of pity friendship, i was an asshole in my time and honestly was not a good friend myself, do you pay for the dumb shit you do as a teenager, the people you fuck over go from your life completely yet new people you meet do the same things to you like they know. i had/have a long term best friend, J, we had been mates for years, we worked at my old job dominoes together for a bit, and kinda hung out a few times, but not until we got into PC gaming together did we form a bond. after that we would chat every day, play games together, watch the footy together, go places even though he lived across the city from me. one thing that changed massively in my life was i quit drinking alcohol, and then i felt like all my friends both disagree with my choice and resent me for it, like for some reason i have to take the same drugs they are taking at that time to be their friends. so J has just grown more and more distant, i get that we are older now, we both have partners, jobs that take a lot of our time, but then when we hang out or talk he seems disinterested, more interested with his friends that i introduced him to (from our discord server) and has seemingly replaced me, none of these guys i really like at all, in fact the only one of the new group i like is the one girl in it because she actually has interesting things to say.

fuck that was a paragraph, i guess i should talk about alcohol.

alcohol has fucked up my life, i cant repair the mistakes and stupid things i did while drinking alcohol, so they are there, i guess its just talking about it left. to start off, when i drink alcohol i have a hard time finding my limit, i feel like i swing from nothing to completely blacked out, puking, sobbing and basically hating myself very quick, i feel sick for days after drinking, barely able to eat, leave bed, move, i feel so nauseous and tired, its so fucked up what it does to your body, but oh your mind is even worse. i've broken off relationships, cheated, threatened people, gotten into fights, brawls, got my arm broken, hurt myself repeatedly, gotten arrested and a criminal record that may prevent me from going to canada next year, and is currently delaying booking flights, ive missed work, shown up drunk same clothes no shower to work, but the main thing that alcohol does to me is makes me sad. alcohol makes me so fucking sad, it makes me reach into the deepest pits i can think of and brings out all the emotions that are in there, my ex being the main one. every time i used to drink id think of her, call her, text her, go on her facebook, look up her instagram her twitter, fuck it drive my car to her house to see if her cars there like that does anything or means anything just fucking alcohol is so stupid. i never want to feel like that again, i never want to sabotage my life, sabotage and self destruct my relationships, but i guess losing my friends is the thing i have to take in consideration. australia is a fucked up place, where drinking heavily is the social norm and if you don't get fucked up or even have a beer with mates you're a loser.

i just want a deep connection with my friends. when i was in newcastle with my partner, i met her friends there that she had been living with, despite the fucked up things that happened to her there, she lost a lot of friends herself and a long time friend, had trouble finding new ones, trouble fitting in, the friends she had there were the most honest and truly welcoming, connecting people ive met, and i miss that. i miss having a friend you can just, go over to their place, sit around for 3-4 hours talking shit, laughing, listening to music, relaxing and sharing stories and shit. weird that people can have such an effect on you in a short time. the life i live here is full of making plans, only for them to be cancelled, inviting friends over, for nobody to show up, cancelled plans all the fucking time, i've never been asked to just come over and chill, never its always some group thing that i'm invited to as well. i even try talking to them about this, i told a group of girl friends i have, i miss you all and haven't seen you in so long, we need to have a casual hangout, and the message was almost completely ignored, i asked them all to come to mind to watch the grand final, the house was free, i got a big projector screen, big comfy couch, live central right in the middle of everyone, nobody even replied or brought it up again, yet the second someone else that lives in the far corners of perth brought it up everyone started chatting about their plan to go. so if that's not my friends making it obvious they don't want to see me, they only include me then thats fucked up. i don't know what to say, this happens all the time, my 21st birthday i invited 65 people, and less than 15 people showed up. its hard to keep trying, always trying, i always try to make social events, i always ask friends what they are doing, when they can see me, make plans, they get cancelled, they are busy, they say they're coming then don't show up, most of the time i never hear a word too, they just dont show and don't even apologize, is that a fair thing to do, yeah sometimes i dont go to my friends events, i'm too fucking tired or just don't feel like going, somethings come up, i tell them straight away i cant make it i'm sorry this has come up, yet i don't get the same courtesy.

am i an unlikable person

the guys at work seem to like me, so i started a baking apprenticeship, basically i started watching great british bake off and picked it up as a hobby, making cakes and stuff, actually i should go back. so i used to work in some shitty small software company in the city, 9-5, peak hour traffic, office drama, workplace bullies, understaffed, overworked, red tape and bullshit everywhere, i quit after 2.5 years for mental health reasons, i made a lot of money but had to move on, so i spent a year off , it was only supposed to be a few months, go on a holiday road trip with my then partner, S, she broke up with me via a text message right after eagles lost to melbourne at home, basically the footy game was more disappointing, we had a shit relationship, i think i resented her, i cheated on her, yeah i'm an awful person and deserve everything, she was an emotionally manipulative person, terrified of her own body and sex, tried to dominate my life and change me, im glad we broke up. so i stayed unemployed for a long time, over a year, barely looking, until i found this baking apprenticeship, not only did i apply for the job and write a completely custom cover letter (im so fucking lazy i usually close a job application the second it requires anything more than an apply button) AND i called back a few weeks later when i heard nothing, well turns out that call landed me the job, the apprentice they hired instead of me was useless, had no passion and was a slow worker. so i got the job, and basically have been killing it ever since, i get a lot of praise at work (lots of criticism too) baking is one of those things that takes time, its all about time, so i got a lot to learn but i am actually confident once in my life, holy shit i have a job i like and am good at. is this the dream?> lol

so today i started writing my feelings down, and its kinda felt good, but i'm exhausted now, and my fingers hurt, so this is the end of my first post, i hope nobody reads it, its really just for me but i don't know.

thanks for listening i guess

#self #baking #life #thoughts

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ridiculousn3sswrites · 7 years ago

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New York - Wave Pt. 7

*Peter Parker x Reader

*Summary: Reader goes to New York City with Peter to start over.

*Warnings: Swearing probably

*A/N: Oh hey look at who finally decided to update this. And tbh this is the most active I’ve been since the 12 Days of Loki.

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight || Part Nine

While waiting for takeoff, you took the time to say your goodbyes to your friends and what family you had in the city. You’d even said goodbye to the few officers you’d become relatively close with. Jameson, the officer there when you were arrested, was glad to find out you were alive, giving you his number and telling you to call if you needed any help at all. By the time you were headed to meet with Peter, it was nearing sunset. You were glad for that: you’d become just another nameless face on the dark streets.

The quinjet Tony had sent Peter in was at a somewhat abandoned airfield a little ways from the business district. You saw Peter waiting for you, his bag slung over his shoulder as his eyes scanned the field. When he finally saw you, he broke into a wide grin, waving you over. “(y/n)!” He called out, his enthusiasm palpable.

“Pete, my dude!” You laughed as you walked up to him. “What, Happy didn’t get sent with you?”

“Not this time, Mr. Stark sent me with an automated quinjet,” Peter replied.

“Sick,” you told him. “Looks like Tony’s finally seeing you as a big kid.”

“Shut up,” Peter laughed. You just smiled, and the two of you walked towards the quinjet. Soon enough the quinjet had entered the airspace and you were on your way to New York. You and Peter had settled into a comfortable silence, but with how Peter was, you knew it wouldn’t last long. Sure enough, almost twenty minutes after the quinjet had leveled out, Peter started talking. “So what happened to you? You’ve been missing forever, I thought you stopped being Wave.”

“Well, technically I kinda did,” you said. “I was unregistered, became a fugitive, got caught, and then escaped. Have you heard any news about anyone else?”

“Hold up, you’re a fugitive?” Peter asked, his voice going up an octave.

“Yeah, I thought that was kinda obvious with that whole new bill,” you told him. “I refused to register my identity and hero identity, so they went against everything to find out who I was anyways. Pieces of shit didn’t even wait until after I helped bring down a weapons deal, they took me when I was unconscious from some injury.”

“What happened to you?” Peter asked again, the severity of the situation actually hitting him.

“They took me to some hospital in the middle of the desert, where they were keeping all sorts of powered heroes, like you and me. They were drugging us so we wouldn’t be able to use our powers, but I know how to take out IVs so I was never drugged for long. I caused a ton of trouble in the hospital, and they moved me out to house arrest,” you explained. It was definitely different telling someone who could go through the same thing. “I escaped, got lost, ended up in Mexico, and now I’m back.”

“Holy crap,” Peter breathed. “So why are you headed out to New York?”

“I figured that maybe Natasha, Clint, and Kate could help me out,” you told him with a shrug. “Now it’s my turn for some questions. Have you heard anything about the others?”

“Natasha and Clint pretty much disappeared, but they’re trained to do that so I wouldn’t worry,” Peter told you. “Steve and Sam went missing, and now Bucky’s on the run again. Oh, Scott also went into hiding. Mr. Stark and the others are registered.”

“It sounds like Civil War all over again. So, how about you?” You asked.

“I’m not registered. Mr. Stark got me out of it cuz I’m still a minor,” Peter told you.

“That’s bullshit, they were still trying to force me to register,” you said. “It’s all because I’m with Steve and them, and we opposed the Hero Registry the first time around. They even managed to get Steve, I found him when I was in the hospital. He was supposed to escape after I got transferred.”

“Maybe he’s just waiting, you know Steve’s all about that perfect timing,” Peter tried to comfort you. He had moved to the seat right beside you, and from his body language he was conflicted about what to do. You saw him briefly consider going for a hug, so you decided to make the decision for him and hugged him. As soon as you pulled away, you saw his face flushed a bright red. “W-what was that for?”

“What? I can’t hug a friend?” You asked. When Peter didn’t respond, you decided to give him an actual answer. “Just thanks for letting me tag along to New York. I know I didn’t tell you that I was a fugitive until after we took off, but still, thanks for being on my side.”

“Of course,” Peter said. “We gotta stick together, right?”

“Yeah,” you agreed, nodding. “Oh, hey! You remember Nova?”

“Yeah, I trained with him a while ago. Oh crap, did he?” Peter trailed off. You nodded again, knowing what he was trying to say.

“He was cool, we were transferred to house arrest together and he helped me escape. He’s honestly probably the only thing that kept me sane while we were there,” you told him. “I’m gonna expose the government for what it is and help get him back to New York.”

“No matter how much he got on my nerves, he was still a good guy,” Peter said, voice nearly a whisper. You could tell that this entire thing was finally hitting him: the government was getting rid of the heroes that didn’t register, and some of those heroes were the ones that he knew the best. “So that’s what you’re gonna be doing in New York?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna lay low for a while and then expose the government through the news networks and maybe some of those comedy news shows too,” you told him. You didn’t hesitate at all, knowing Peter wouldn’t go and tell on you. At this point, he was basically your accomplice. “I dunno, I might do some hero stuff while I’m out there. I heard Daredevil and them are still running around, they seem like they’d be cool to work with.”

“That’s good, I’m glad you’re gonna be doing something more,” Peter told you. “The thing is, the quinjet goes back to the Avengers Compound in upstate New York, not the City. How are we gonna get you back without anyone knowing?”

“The official Avengers disguise,” you told him, opening your backpack and pulling out exactly what you needed. “A baseball cap, hoodie, and sunglasses.” With that, you pulled on the cap and sunglasses, shooting Peter a silly look from underneath them, making Peter laugh.

“Do we all really use that same disguise?” Peter asked, still laughing.

“Uh, yeah. It’s kinda ridiculous how well it works, though,” you replied, smiling. “How do you think I made it from San Diego to LA without getting caught?”

“Really? How far is that?” Peter asked.

“Right, you’re used to New York type of travel. Let’s just say it’s pretty far,” you told him as you pulled off your ‘disguise’. You could tell Peter wanted to know more of your story just by the way he had started fidgeting. Apparently he hadn’t changed much since he first joined, Steve told you that he’d always been very excitable and kind of dorky. “Alright, you want all the details?” Peter nodded, so you started from the beginning.

It only took a few hours to get to New York, definitely quicker than it would’ve taken you any other way. You and Peter didn’t start to panic until the quinjet landed, realizing that people would probably be waiting for Peter. You hid in one of the storage compartments, your phone on silent. Peter promised to text you once everyone was away from the quinjet so you could make your escape, and luckily it didn’t take long for that text to arrive. You snuck out of the quinjet, finding yourself in a hangar.

From there, you were able to sneak into the actual building. You’d never been to the Compound - only the Tower when that was still a thing - so it was a bit of a maze. You found your way into what looked like a communications room. After logging into one of the computers, you started trying to find the quickest way to the City. Walking was definitely out, it didn’t seem like there were any busses nearby that went that far, and finally you decided that you weren’t beyond stealing a car to head out. That was, until Peter texted you that they were sending him back to New York in a self-driving car. “Wow, that’s ridiculously convenient,” you muttered, shaking your head slightly. You pulled up a map of the place, quickly finding the place Peter told you to meet him at.

“(Y/n)!” Peter called out as soon as he saw you. You laughed as you saw his eyes widen comically when he realized what he just did, waving him off to let him know it was fine. As soon as you were in normal talking distance, you spoke.

“You know, they sure do trust you a lot more now,” you told him with a cheeky smile. “Alright, so we know Avengers cars are tracked, but are they bugged?”

“Nope, sometimes people talk about confidential stuff,” Peter assured you. “You’re good to ride in it. If anyone finds out, you’ll be hidden away in New York by the time they realize you were even here.”

“Who knew Mr. Goody-goody would be such a willing accomplice?” You teased, going to open the car door. Peter followed soon after, and the car ride back to New York City was relatively quick compared to the cross-country flight. Peter helped you to get relatively acquainted with New York, understanding the public transport system, the differences between the boroughs, things of that nature. While you were from a big city, New York and LA were each a universe of their own, and you knew that you needed to learn at least some things about New York if you were going to effectively hide. You already had a plan to play the new-girl card, but you needed to seem like you hadn’t just literally gotten to the city.

Soon enough, you arrived in Queens. After checking in with Aunt May, Peter showed you how to actually use the NYC public transport system to get to Manhattan. “Do you actually have a plan?” Peter asked as the two of you got off of the train.

“Kind of?” You responded. “I just gotta get a burner really quick and then I’m like at least 12% sure I’ll be able to find who I need to.”

“Well, there’s a Walgreens if you wanna go in and buy one,” Peter offered, pointing at the store up ahead. “And that doesn’t exactly sound like a plan.”

“Trust me, 12% is better than no plan at all,” you told him, already starting to walk off. You turned over your shoulder, calling back to Peter. “I’ll call you once I figure things out. Thanks Peter.”

“You know where to find me,” Peter replied before turning and walking away. You assumed he would head back to the station and get back to Queens, so you quickly went back on your path to the Walgreens, doing a quick mental check to see if you actually had enough cash available for a burner phone. Despite the unfamiliar city, you were finally beginning to feel some semblance of control once again.

Tag List: @potterjamesharry, @sharenaloveyoux

#peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #marvel imagine #wave series #Mexican Reader

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academicsapphic · 7 years ago

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92 Question Tag

Tagged by @annikki-studies thanks a bunch!

LAST:

Drink: always water

Phone call: the pharmacy

Text message: “everyone i know just leaves after sleeping together unless they’re like dating” - me to a GC

Song you listened to: Crushed Little Stars - Mitski

Time you cried: i don’t even remember which frightens me cause i normally cry every five seconds

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: i haven’t even dated someone once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t even kissed someone once 8. Been cheated on: see #6 9. Lost someone special: i don’t feel like i have? 10. Been depressed: it’s my way of life 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: okay so i did drink a punch at my friend’s party and i didn’t get drunk but my body completely rejected it cause i drank half a cup really slowly with water, was completely lucid, and ten minutes later started vomiting. that’s enough liquor for me i shall stick with beer. and im still salty cause i was like i wanna see what its like to be tipsy i wanna let loose and have fun! and my body was like “how about no fun and only puke”. all that to say: yes and no??? DON’T DRINK LIQUOR MIXED WITH JUICE IT’S A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN EITHER DO SHOTS OR DRINK BEER OR DRINK NOTHING

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: purple, certain blues, gray

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: omg so many. ive made shitty ones then i made my actual ones. all you do in college is make friends. 16. Fallen out of love: havent been in it. ive fallen out of infatuation though 17. Laughed until you cried: of course, all the time, my friends are ridiculous 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah that’s always a great feeling 19. Met someone who changed you: i’m sure lots of people i’ve met are responsible for who i am today 20. Found out who your friends are: yes, see #15 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: see #7 GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them why would i add strangers 23. Do you have any pets: a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: not really 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i think we went to dinner 26. What time did you wake up: like 6 something? not being at college means i have a normal sleep schedule and i hate it 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping i hate summer 28. Name something you can’t wait for: MOVE-IN MOVE-IN MOVE-IN I WANNA GO BACK TO UNI SO BAD 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour or two ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so many things i cant even list but also im very grateful for my life so like idk 31. What are you listening to right now: HIMYM 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ?? idk 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: summer, registration, sometimes my family 34. Most visited websites: Netflix, YouTube, Tumblr, Amazon, Vandy’s registration site, and MyFitnessPal

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: my arm, my neck, my chin 36. Mark/s: a lot, birthmarks, scars, places ive burned myself 37. Childhood dream: same one i have now, be a professional musician and performer 38. Hair color: dark almost black brown 39. Long or short hair: long, but recently my hair got cut and i actually really like it short too but for the long run, long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: no life is boring and im giving my feelings a break from getting hurt 41. What do you like about yourself: sometimes my music is good and my eyes are a nice color but i hate everything about me lol 42. Piercings: basic ears 43. Blood type: no idea 44. Nickname: Bree 45. Relationship status: single, as i have been for my whole life, as i will be for my whole life 46. Zodiac: Aquarius

47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Fringe/The Office 49. Tattoos: Nope, maybe someday, something small on my wrist or hand, but probably not cause my pain tolerance is -100 50. Right or left hand: left 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: ive gotten highlights a couple times 53. Sport: softball from childhood through high school 55. Vacation: going to myrtle beach next week 56. Pair of trainers: what are trainers? MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: just made myself dinner (veggie burger with lettuce bun and 100-calorie fries) 58. Drinking: water, obv 59. I’m about to: eat some frozen grapes and do some cardio 61. Waiting for: School to start jesus i wanna go back so bad

62. Want: all my wildest dreams to come true 63. Get married: i like really really wanna spend my life with someone so hopefully that happens someday 64. Career: idk yet. maybe grad school, maybe law school, maybe my music career will take off and ill get to do my passion for a living WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i wouldnt know cause no kisses yet 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: for guys, taller, for girls i dont care cause theyre all so beautiful i shant dare have a preference for their anything 68. Older or younger: older but not by a lot 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i truly dont care i have neither so how could i judge 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive i love crying and i wanna have a df who cries too 72. Hook up or relationship: not that i could get either, but relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker cause im so hesitant HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: yes it tastes so bad but i stuck through it to try to get drunk 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i literally lost my right contact at the beginning of senior year and spent the rest of highschool wearing just my left one. i’m a mess. i’ve never lost my glasses though *knock on wood* 77. Turned someone down: yes which is amazing 78. Sex on the first date: if im going on a date with someone ive probably already known them for a while since dating strangers terrifies me so sure maybe why not 79. Broken someone’s heart: doubt it 80. Had your heart broken: not truly? like ive never been in love but in an infatuation crush sense? literally all the time. i spent all second semester so heartbroken that i was in physical pain for months at a time over this guy i liked so much who had a girlfriend and was also really annoying so it wasnt even worth it. it took a therapy session to get out of it.

81. Been arrested: no my black ass would probably be killed first 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: I never fall for friends. that’s so weird to me. when i first meet you i’m either not attracted to you so you’re therefore just my friend, or i’m attracted to you and i can’t just like you as a friend so you’re a crush. but i’ve never been friends with someone i liked, i’ve only liked strangers and people i’ve never talked to cause im pathetic. i could never like one of my friends oh my god. when friends like me, i get so uncomfortable i can hardly look at them. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: honestly i have to cause its kind of hard to let down the only person on your team at all times 85. Miracles: kind of, i believe that everything happens for a reason and the universe/gods have a plan so if something miraculous happens it was meant to happen 86. Love at first sight: i believe in first really strong attraction that turns into love 87. Santa Claus: not anymore :’( 88. Kiss on the first date: definitely, even before the first date who cares OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: don’t really have a single best friend 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Breakfast at Tiffany’s probably

#mine

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fancycollectionfury-blog1 · 6 years ago

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Getting Health Insurance?

"Getting Health Insurance?

When I move out with my boyfriend can I be on his health insurance plan without being married?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr